Wellbeing

Unlock Confidence in your 40s: How Perimenopause Impacts your Brain and Beliefs (plus how to take back control).

Empowering women in their 40's to regain their confidence.

October 24, 2024

I’m Jo
A Confidence Coach for Women in their forties.  


As women in our 40s, we often find ourselves in a whirlwind of changes—mentally, emotionally, and physically. These changes can sometimes shake our confidence, especially when we enter Perimenopause, the transitional phase or house renovation stage, leading up to Menopause and then Post Menopause.

Here’s something we don’t always consider: the way we feel about our bodies during this time is deeply influenced by the beliefs we’ve carried with us, often since childhood.

The Power of Belief in Aging and Body Confidence

Our beliefs are like a soundtrack, played on a loop in the background of our minds. Created on a tape recorded in the 80’s and now listened to in the present day on Spotify.

From a young age, we absorb ideas about beauty, aging, and self-worth, which come from our families, the media and society. These early messages often form what I call a Belief Soundtrack—a collection of thoughts that influence how we see ourselves at every stage of life.

For many women in their 40s, that soundtrack might be filled with messages like:
– “Youth equals beauty.”
– “Getting older means losing value.”
– “Being thin is the only way to be attractive.”

These beliefs, whether we can consciously hear them or not, can make it difficult to feel body positive and confident in ourselves as we not only navigate Perimenopause but also getting older.

If we believe aging is something to be feared or hidden, it becomes even harder to maintain body confidence when our bodies are changing in ways we can’t control.

A belief can feel so real that it feels believable.

What is empowering is that just like any playlist, we can change the soundtrack, We can replace those outdated, negative beliefs with ones that support us as we transition into this new phase of life with empowering anthems. In essence you become your own DJ of your life.

So let’s look at what you can do to help edit your soundtrack…

How Perimenopause Affects Your Body and Mind

During Perimenopause, fluctuations in Hormones like Estrogen and Progesterone can cause physical symptoms—weight changes, joint pain, hair and skin changes (to name 3 of 44 symptoms) But it’s not just your body that’s affected—your brain chemistry is, too.

Key neurotransmitters like Dopamine, Serotonin, and GABA play a huge role in how we feel during this time:
– Dopamine: The “feel-good” neurotransmitter responsible for motivation and pleasure. When dopamine levels dip, you might feel less enthusiastic or less motivated to stay active or maintain self-care routines.
Serotonin: Linked to mood regulation, serotonin dips can contribute to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and sleep disturbances.
– GABA: Known for its calming effects, GABA helps reduce anxiety and promotes relaxation. Low GABA levels during perimenopause can leave you feeling more stressed and overwhelmed.

Social Media and Dopamine: The Trap of Comparison

One of the quickest ways to get a dopamine hit is through social media. But here’s the thing: constantly scrolling through photos of seemingly flawless, ageless women can leave us feeling inadequate. It’s a dopamine rollercoaster—each “like” or comment feels good for a moment, but comparison can leave us feeling even worse afterward.

When you look to the past or find yourself in a mindset where you are looking at you ‘use to have’, then you risk walking backwards through life. Missing the life you had and not turning around and seeing all the opportunities in front of you. You mind becomes fixated on the past, rather than looking to the future.

This is why, I encourage women to create a happy place to scroll—an online environment that boosts, rather than drains, their confidence. Surround yourself with content that uplifts you, informs you, and makes you feel seen and valued. Social media doesn’t have to be a negative place. Make it your happy place to scroll.

A Simple Shift: Create Your Own Happy Place to Scroll
Here are a few tips to make your social media space healthier for your dopamine levels:

1. Unfollow Accounts that Make You Feel “Less-Than”: Whether it’s unattainable beauty standards or influencers selling you perfection, it’s okay to unfollow and curate a space that feels aligned with where you are in your journey. There are an abundance of awesome Gen X flying the flag and raising awareness.

2. Follow Accounts That Empower You: Find women who share relatable, honest experiences of perimenopause, aging, and confidence-building. Follow experts who share practical, evidence-based tips on health and wellness.

3. Set Boundaries: Be mindful of how often you’re scrolling. Breaks from social media help your brain reset and reduce the need for that constant dopamine hit.

My favourite post this week was from Donna Lancaster who wrote a beautiful poem on aging. You can read it here. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBRBIpVoxpz/?igsh=b2w0ZGc1ODFneDhi

Becoming Meno-Literate and Taking Back Your Confidence

The key to thriving in your 40s and beyond is becoming meno-literate—understanding what’s happening in your body and mind, and learning how to support yourself through these changes. It’s also about changing that Belief Soundtrack to one that celebrates who you are now, not who you were in your 20s.

My Belief Soundtrack Method® helps women do just that using evidence based strategies and tools. By identifying and challenging the outdated beliefs holding you back, you can regain your confidence and shift into a new, empowered mindset.

If you’re feeling lost or stuck during perimenopause, you’re not alone. This is a transitional time, but with the right support and tools, it can also be a time of immense personal growth and self-discovery.

Joanne Fiddy is a Confidence and Menopause Coach who empowers women in their 40’s to regain their confidence and find their vibe through the Belief Soundtrack Method® Book a free discovery call to find out more hello@riseandvibewithjo.com.

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